we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
If I die, sorry about rent.
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
Randomize
