every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
Disregard any previous text from the past 12 hours. Except for the one about scoring a strike while drunk bowling. Remember that one.
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
Randomize
