roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
Randomize
