i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
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