That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
Oh god. I finally realized why the coked out Stevie wonder was explaining the concept of movember to the McDonalds clerk. Drunk me didn't process that another month comes after Halloween... It's apparently November.
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
Randomize
