That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Randomize
