used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
Randomize
