I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
I said "one day" and that day is not today
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
Randomize
