I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
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