It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
Breakfast is bomb, yo. McDonald's before ten thirty is like Katie Holmes before Tom Cruise.
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
Randomize