i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
Met my future wife peeing in the men's room. I stood in for the missing door on the stall. We really hit it off talking about how her butt didn't even touch the seat from all the years of squat lifting in high school.
Pretending to leave a voicemail when the person answers the phone....that's gotta be drunk dial level 99
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
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