I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
Randomize
