Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
I wish there was a non-hangover washing machine that I could stick myself in right now
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
I'm sitting on the couch playing the sims, how's ur night going?
I'm sitting on my floor, drinking wine, and listening to bette midlers "wind beneath my wings"
Why are our lives so predictable?
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
Randomize
