I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
I think pants incapable of making pants work
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
Randomize