I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
The lady at the Humaine Society gave me her nephew's number because I seem like a loving and caring person.
Does she know that each time you've adopted a new cat in the past year it's because some guy stopped fucking you and you don't want to eat your feelings?
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
Why is there bacon in the couch?
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