Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents?
Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
