please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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