How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
you inspire me to be a worse person
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
Randomize
