I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
I just walked by a homeless man reading the money section of USA Today...
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
I wrote a pretty good eulogy, too. Motherfucker pastor had no sense of comedic timing.
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
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