Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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