: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
I swear to god I'm going to hunt down and stab the next telemarketer that calls from a blocked number while I'm waiting for my STD results...
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
Randomize
