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• (765): View more from Indiana

  laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?

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• (815): View more from Illinois

  i can't believe you bought a jetta. you know that's a girl car, right? if i hadn't had sex with you, i'd have no other proof you're straight.

  Fav 47 1071 3733

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• (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha

  Fav 40 4527 1032

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• (651): View more from Minnesota

  I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job

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• (318): View more from Louisiana

  No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.

  Fav 10 1693 4103

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• (407): View more from Florida

  I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.

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• (248): View more from Michigan

  It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.

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• (513): View more from Ohio

  He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.

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• (850): View more from Florida

  Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.

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• (310): View more from California

  Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.

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• (760): View more from California

  He pulled a kid having a seizure out of a car and stayed with him until the ambulance came.

  (619): View more from California

  he what???

  (760): View more from California

  Not kidding. My ovaries cannot handle this shit...swear next time he'll rescue a bunch of pound puppies and hand them out to lonely orphans.

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• (410): View more from Maryland

  It was a book called Gay Safari.

  (443): View more from Maryland

  I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.

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• (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee

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• (308): View more from Nebraska

  Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.

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• (647): View more from Ontario

  Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?

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