I just remembered that last night when we tried to walk off the spins you said "pretend i'm your pet dinosaur" so i walked you around on an invisible leash while you made t-rex hissing noises.
Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
Randomize
