Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
I just woke up and checked my e-mail, and apparently while drunk I bought a blowtorch. Thought you'd want to know.
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
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