dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
Randomize
