we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
im having a threesome with these popsicles
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
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