Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
then he tried to convert me to islam
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
you never un-have a 4some
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
Randomize
