I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
Randomize
