I created a new tequila drink. it is a mix of excitement and fear instilled in innocent people.
I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
Randomize
