its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
when are you leaving homes?
it's 7:51. why the fuck are you awake at 7:51
I had a sex dream about Oprah.
go back to sleep
dude. it was a sex dream. about. Oprah.
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
Randomize