I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
I am going to ride along with a cop tonight so please don't get arrested because that would be super awkward for me.
I'm out of town so we should be golden.
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
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