I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
He turned down a handjob. A HANDJOB. I know I'm no Jessica Simpson, but...
Actually, she's fat now, so...
Fuck. I AM Jessica Simpson.
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
Randomize
