i broke my thumb. i no longer have 2 opposable thumbs. i'm sub-human. i love vicodin.
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
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