At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
Great parenting moment: noticing your kid is going to puke from gorging fish sticks and sending her outside. Then watching her puke on your dog.
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
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