you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
he's gonorrhea incarnate
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
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