oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
He sent me a pic of his coffee mug to be like "I'm having coffee too.” \nImagine that. Morning coffee. In your boring ass mug. Dick pic or gtfo.
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
Randomize
