dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
Some lady found my secret pooping bathroom at work. Do I fight her Highlander style? I made or may not be fashioning a crude sword from seat covers and toilet paper rolls.
Do it. DO IT. There can be only one.
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
Randomize
