i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
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