C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
mustard is like jesus in yellow tights
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
In the 30 seconds it took me to leave the bar I let the barback motorboat me, ripped open a stranger's shirt and bit his chest, then made out with El Camino dude. No, I'm not coming out tonight.
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
You tried tipping the cashier at Cook Out by shoving a dollar bill down his shirt and yelling "Magic Mike"
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
Randomize
