drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
Randomize
