why do cheetos always look like penises
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
Randomize