Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
Can you bring me the toilet please
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
Randomize
