Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
Randomize
