i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
SITTING NEXT TO A CIRCUS PERFORMER AT PLANNED PARENTHOOD. THIS IS MY LIFE.
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
I haven't been single on my birthday for 7 years. If you don't get me laid tonight, your best friend/wing woman status will be revoked.
I’m so poor I’m filling a flask with vodka and bringing it to the bar.
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
Randomize
