Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
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