so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
Randomize
