First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
Hello my rib-scented angel!
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Randomize
