Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
Randomize
