Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
There were 3 chicks in my bed I didn't know when I got home. Now I know all of them. Biblically.
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
Today I found out that my boss keeps a breathalyzer on his desk for just these sort of shenanigans
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
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