I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
You had me at "let me see your balls"
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
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