he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
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