is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
I sobered up and saw I was with the fat one and you had left laughing with the hot one. You're a terrible wingman, but an excellent manipulator
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
What's an appropriate engagement gift for the girl that's marrying your brother's Tuesday night hookup? Cause all I can think of is vodka and Kleenex.
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
