Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
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