maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
Just walked in and was handcuffed to a police woman. Fire fighter woman poured franzia down my throat. Aaaaand I just ate cookies off of Little Red Riding Hood's tits.
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
i spilled a box of white cheddar cheezits on the bathroom floor about 2 days ago. when i went back to the house he yelled at me from the bathroom: "THANKS FOR THE CHEEZITS, I'll ALWAYS HAVE A SNACK FOR WHEN IM SHITTING NOW!"
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
If the people you’re with use the word tequila in a sentence with phrases like hair of the dog or breakfast of champions...run awsy
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