if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
I have so many feelings about this burrito
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
Cover for me. Stopped at Chris’ for a quickie. Broke a high heel and there’s jizz all over my black dress. Fuck pornstars for making workday sex look easy
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