i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
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