he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
I love how my cats smell like pot.
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
Randomize
