I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
and i looked up. we had an audience...
so my phone autocorrects 'retard' to 'retaaahd'. i LOVE being a masshole!
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
So I come back home and a huge flock of enormous vultures are on my roof
They're waiting for you to die
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
Your shirt... Was in my pants
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
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