I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
You were face down in the punch bowl, humming the theme to jaws
That explains the stains on my shirt
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
Randomize
