we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
How naked do you want me to be?
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
Randomize