ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
Randomize
