I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
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