Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
Sitting in bed reading a porn novel off my phone and accidentally just made Siri start reading the most graphic part aloud. FUN FIRST NIGHT WITH THE NEW ROOMIE.
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
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